ten, nine, eight…

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  1. Summer is my favorite season to discover a song or a band for the first time because it feels like the music was meant to be listened to while driving along the ocean.  I just heard this a couple days ago and I can’t. stop. listening.
  2. I am now legally a tenant of an apartment.  Adulting!
  3. The traditional concept of God vs my idea of the universe has been on my mind a lot lately.  Trying to make sense of my own spirituality is really hard, but I’m liking it.
  4. There are flies all over my house and they won’t leave me alone.  This is why I hate summer when I really don’t but kind of do.
  5. My current addiction is Pinterest.  It is the best thing ever???  Wondering why I didn’t know this before…
  6. I got my hair done yesterday.  Hi, haven’t been this blonde since I was fifteen but it sure is fun so far.
  7. I go back to Chicago in six days. SIX. DAYS. Shit, I really need to start packing.
  8. I haven’t seen one “friend” from high school this summer, unless it was an awkward run-in at the gym that I wanted to avoid the second we said “hi.”  I’ve spent most of the summer with my parents and it’s been one of the best summers I’ve ever had. Can I get a s/o to all the parents who are the BEST at being a parent so much so that they are more your best friend?  HERE’S THE SHOUTOUT.
  9. I hope that someday I am able to experience this quote by Edgar Allen Poe: We loved with a love that was more than love.
  10. This playlist I made called “Sunday Morning” makes me the happiest right now and I think it’ll make you happy too.  And, it’s perfect for Sunday Mornings :):)
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mother move

I haven’t had a “nice” camera for the past four months because I thought my Nikon was broken. Turns out I just needed to adjust the mirror in it, so after a two hour feat I finally fixed it.  I’ve been getting the itch to use it so much lately and now I finally can!  So yesterday I went out to Pacific Beach and filmed nature in its movements.  When I listened to Alt-J this morning, Interlude 2 came on and I realized that all the things I filmed yesterday was a visual of how that song makes me feel.  This video is a product of all these things.  Enjoy!

Life Dump, Wk. 1

This week was full of surprises and big, big things.  Last Sunday my mom was at work and my dad was gone, so I took my dog, Marley, to the farmers market right around the corner from our condo.  Marley and I have spent almost every hour of this summer together and she loves when I take her out to places with me.  Since moving here, its become a tradition for my mom to get flowers from the farmers market every Sunday, but since she was gone I took on those duties and picked out these babies, which called for a selfie or two:

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As the week went on, I realized how much closer it’s getting to me moving back to Chicago permanently for the time being.  Its always felt strange to me how slow summer feels, and then out of nowhere you realize it’s almost over and ask yourself, “Where has the time gone?”  That’s where I’m at right now, and because of this feeling I’m trying to take in my world here in San Diego, before I leave it for quite awhile.

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This past weekend was my mom’s last weekend off before I fly back to Chicago so we made one last trip up to LA to visit with our family that lives up there.  It was so wonderful spending time with my grandparents and getting to see some family that I haven’t seen in eight months or so.

I’m starting to learn how to put on makeup like a real adult, so I’ve been bouncing off the walls about that lately.  I’m learning how to put on eyeshadow and bronzer, and starting to research really good makeup products.  I never thought in a million years I’d be excited about makeup but it sure is fun.

My sweet, sweet Aunt got me a dress from one of her friends that owns a store, and gave it to me when we were in LA, so I wore it out on Sunday when my mom and I met a family friend for coffee.  I paired it with some rings I got recently:

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Annnnnd, for the most exciting part, I GOT APPROVED FOR AN APARTMENT!  It’s been such a long and tedious process trying to find an apartment in Chicago from 2,000 miles away, so getting this secured was such a relief for me.  I also adore the building and the unit I’ll be living in with my roommate so now I’m really eager to get back to Chicago. Especially since my mom is coming out to help me move in for five days.  Adult! Things!

Something else exciting: I got new glasses!!!!!!!  S/o to Warby Parker, for real.  I love them so much, so of course it called for selfies:

I’ve started packing and getting all the last things I need before I head back to Chicago. My dad found my mom, him, and me tickets to see Dave Matthews Band, a family favorite, next Friday, the night before I leave, and we’re also seeing the Cubs twice next week.  It’s going to be a fun last week here before I go back to the sweet windy city.

Some final photos from the past week:

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Today I’m Listening To…

“I don’t wanna be your friend, I just wanna be your lover…”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time.  It’s off Radiohead’s album In Rainbows, and that was one of the first albums I bought on vinyl when I got a record player three or four years ago.  My dad loved Radiohead for a long time before that, and always tried to introduce me to their music, but In Rainbows was the first Radiohead album that I connected to on my own and found connections with for myself.  Ever since then, whenever I revisit this album I just sit for awhile, often in the dark or by the light of a candle, and listen to the incredible beauty and artistry of this music.

Loving Myself Again

Going into my freshman year of college I heard endlessly about the infamous “freshman fifteen.”  People told me that you never think it will happen to you, but at the end of the year you’ll realize you fell victim to it too.  I didn’t listen to these people.  I thought I was immune to it because I liked to work out and I ate oatmeal every morning.

I was wrong.

College is incredibly time consuming.  Sure, you go to class for less hours than you did in high school.  At the school I attend we even get Fridays off from classes (which is how every school should be at every level of education, but that is an opinion for another time). This gives us time to catch up on homework, papers, and even get a little time for ourselves.  What I didn’t realize was how much time I would spend at the library doing homework, writing papers, and studying nonstop.  Fall quarter I think I spent 3/4 of my time sitting at the table by the window on the second floor every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

I love school.  I love to learn.  I really don’t mind homework if it’s for a class that I enjoy. But part of dedicating so much time to my studies is that you end up not finding time for much of anything else.  So that’s what happened during fall quarter.  I didn’t workout, didn’t explore as much of the city as I would’ve liked to, and really only ate food from the dining hall, which, let’s be honest, was rarely healthy.

Since it was so. damn. cold. during winter quarter, most of my time was consumed by going out with friends and drinking incredible amounts of alcohol to get through the misery that is the Chicago winter.  I was drinking beer five nights a week, combined with other forms of alcohol, and lots and lots of wine.  Combined with that, I don’t think I set foot in the gym once in those ten weeks.  I guess I thought the cold would freeze off all the extra fat I was storing for the winter.

Halfway through Spring quarter Chicago started to warm.  The trees had leaves again, the city was buzzing, and everyone was flocking to the beaches on the weekends and on days we all got out of class early.  It wasn’t until this time that I realized how much I stopped loving myself during freshman year.

To me, truly loving myself means showing love to my body, my skin, and my overall wellbeing.  Part of that includes working out, eating healthy, drinking lots of water, cutting back on the alcohol, etc etc etc.  The list goes on.  I didn’t do any of these things for the majority of my freshman year of college.  I do believe that your freshman year is all about figuring things out, getting acquainted and comfortable in a new place and a new world, and experiementing.  But I think I got lost in a lot of that and used it as an excuse to stop showing myself the love.

If you haven’t reached the conclusion by now, I will tell you: the freshman fifteen is so real.  I didn’t fully gain fifteen pounds, but I think I gained around twelve or thirteen.  But it’s not about the number on the scale for me, though it is indicative of a much larger problem.  The freshman fifteen, to me, represents how much I ignored my own wellbeing. In order to succeed in life, you have to put yourself first.  I’m not talking selfishness.  I’m talking wellness.

So that’s what I decided to do with my summer at home.  I decided to start loving myself again.  To show love to my body, to my future, to my skin, to my brain, to my taste buds, to everything.  I asked my mom to sign me up at the gym for the summer.  I started making smoothies almost everyday, sometimes drinking them twice a day.  I read motivational fitness blogs.  I look up new workout routines to try.  I started taking vitamins.  I drink looootttssss of water.  And most importantly, I started telling myself “I love you.”

When life gets busy, or life gets ahead of you, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to prioritize.  What are your priorities?  Where does X fall compared to Y?This summer I got my priorities back in order and found that loving myself is number one on my list, and it will be for the rest of my life.  And I always have to remember that. Never let life get too busy to where you stop showing yourself the love.  Because, trust me, the hard work will all be worth it when you step on the scale and the thirteen pounds you gained during freshman year are gone.